Looking Ahead
by wyntertwilight
Summary: The end of the year has left her heartbroken. Can she let go of the past and look ahead, in time to make a fresh start with the beginning of a new year? OneShot. JohnCenaLita.


**Looking Ahead**

**Disclaimer: **I'm so rich I own the WWE, the whole of Scotland and the Crown Jewels. Sound believable? Yeah, I didn't think so.

**Genre:** General/Romance

**Rating: **K+

**Summary:** The end of the year has left her heartbroken. Can she let go of the past and look ahead, in time to make a fresh start with the beginning of a new year?

**Pairings:** Primarily John Cena/Lita. Mentions of others.

**Notes:** Just a simple one-shot. This is my first attempt at a "romantic" piece so please bear with me if it sucks. Also, I realise it's a bit long but I couldn't justify splitting it.

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New Years Eve, 2005

Blanketed by shadows, her eyes swept the space in front, taking in the dangerous scene in its entirety. The floor was littered with the leftovers of weapons from the fight that had occurred a while ago, which meant a significant amount of care would have to be taken to avoid stepping on any of them, so that the mess didn't expand. But, being quite athletic and having a good sense of balance, she knew that she should be able to manoeuvre her way across quite easily, without touching anything…theoretically. That, however, wasn't the only obstacle - a slight frown marking her features as hazel eyes flitted over the numerous figures in the vicinity. Granted, they didn't necessarily mean that the journey was impossible, it just made it harder than she would have liked. There was no time to dwell on the annoyance though, as her opportunity to move had just presented itself, with the occupants in the hallway too intent in each other to notice her slipping through the doorway and amongst them.

Painstakingly slow, she crept forward inch by inch, keeping quiet as possible and determinedly sticking to the gaps in the ground; as a result, limiting her movement and leading to a number of bizarre moves and poses, as she progressed from one space to the next - including, at one point when someone looked around, standing on one foot next to the coat stand and hiding her head in the clothing hanging from it in a strange flamingo/ostrich impersonation. Inwardly she thanked god that no one could see, quite frankly, how ridiculous she looked. Having said that, she felt pretty good about the fact that she had almost managed to reach the other end of the hall without being spotted, even if she had looked like an idiot for the most part. But maybe she had celebrated too soon - wrapped up in her musings, it was too late when she noticed the circular object under her foot, fully grasping what had happened while she was already falling forwards. It wasn't for nothing though, that she had received the "Gymnast Of The Year" trophy four times in high school…planting her hands firmly on the floor, she kicked off and executed a perfect handstand, holding it for seconds before bringing her legs down on the other side in a clean spot…or so she had thought.

"What the fu-…oh, you can't be serious."

Lita cursed as she felt a significant number of the many fallen Doritos crumbling to pieces onto the wooden floor under her left foot - to make matters worse, her right Doc Marten was currently sporting a new "covered in whipped cream" look. To have come so far, just to be beaten by a measly tangy snack and dairy product, was a blow. She stood still for a second, staring at the mess in slight disbelief before deciding that if she couldn't beat 'em, she might as well join 'em, and so Lita crossed the remainder of the hallway stamping on and grinding into as much food as possible. She hadn't even wanted the New Years party in the first place, but had eventually agreed to hosting just to put an end to the constant nagging of a certain petite blonde. Not without certain conditions of her own though. A smirk crossed her face as she "accidentally" kicked over an open bottle of Cola, remembering that the biggest of those conditions was that the same blonde would be in charge of cleaning duty. Trish had been all too happy to join in the food fight that her boyfriend had instigated but Lita knew that when it came to clean up time, one Randy Orton was in for a world of pain.

Having reached the kitchen doorway, Lita spared a glance behind her, proud of the mess she had left behind; it definitely looked worse than before. Amazingly though, none of the couples in the hallway had noticed her attack on the food…but to be fair, they were "otherwise preoccupied". Rolling her eyes, she turned around.

"Guys, please! It's not even midnight yet, can we save some of this merriment til then? You've been blocking the hall and also, you've scared everyone into keeping out of it for at least half an hour…"

Lita had to bite back a laugh as at her words, the various intertwined pairs sprang apart guiltily. She spotted a sheepish-looking Kurt pick himself up from his spot beside the grandfather clock and help up an equally sheepish-looking Victoria, while Christy and Eugene sat side by side on the stairs. The latter was biting his nails nervously and mouthed apologetically to Lita, who shook her head with a reassuring smile, mouthing back "it's ok". Out of the corner of her eye, two more shapes became more apparent and she turned to mock scold them before noticing who it was, the smile disappearing. Matt stared back at her, his expression uncomfortable as Ashley stood at his side, nervously glancing back and forth between the two. A thick, awkward silence fell across the occupants of the hallway, and it felt as if they gazed at each other for an age before Lita shook herself out of her stupor and fixed a grin on her face, looking back round at everyone else.

"Everyone over there" - she pointed to the lounge area she had come out of - "wasn't too happy about the fact all the drink was over here" - pointing behind her to the dining room - "and were getting restless. You should be grateful that Tyson managed to stop Hunter from coming out and eh…ripping you apart, in his words. But no doubt the people stuck with the alcohol were having fun."

She gave a small chuckle and gestured pointlessly at the kitchen, looking anywhere except for the pair to her side. She went in and made to close the door when Victoria spoke.

"Do you want some company Li?"

"What? No, I'm alright Vic, don't be stupid. Go enjoy the party, have fun. I can think of someone else who might prefer your company anyway." An eyebrow raised playfully in the direction of Kurt, and the hint of a smile on her lips. Victoria opened her mouth as if to say more but Lita cut her off.

"Seriously! Go on, I'll be fine, I have to…tidy some stuff in here anyhow."

The door was shut with a snap before a response could be heard, and she leaned against it tiredly, closing her eyes and heaving a sigh. Why did it bother her so much to see the two of them together? She knew it shouldn't. Her own relationship with Matt had ended on mutual terms, and it wasn't as if she still had feelings for him. But she had done for a long time…Matt had been her first proper love and with him she had always felt secure, comforted, and for the first time in her life, at peace with herself. Growing up in a household with an unstable environment, with a mother who thought her daughter was worthless and an overbearing father, Lita was not only used to other people beating her up but also beating herself up - in a mental and emotional sense that hurt far worse than when it was physical. Matt had been the first person to literally, save her from herself, for which she would always be thankful to him, and this would remain true despite the inevitable differences that had come between them. Ending their relationship had been the best solution, but still, it hadn't been easy to let go, and it was hurt seeing how quickly Matt had been able to make a new start. As a result, Lita frequently found herself thinking of the past despite her friends' best efforts in helping her move on. She figured eventually she would, she just didn't know when.

"Ya know…parties are usually more fun when you ain't sittin' 'bout by yourself."

Lita's eyes flew open with a start and she noticed the WWE Champion John Cena propped against the work counter to her left, blue eyes staring intently and a look of bemusement on his features. Of all the times for him to make an appearance…ignoring the sudden flutter in her stomach, she cleared her throat before speaking.

"Then how come you're skulking about in here?"

He held up his right hand to show her the ice cube tray he was holding. "Randy asked me to get these. He's plannin' somethin'. I ain't sure who his victim is but so long as it ain't me, I got no problem wit helpin' him out."

"Good to see you're trying to put a stop to this potential disaster…once again, your 'nice guy' persona never fails to impress me John."

"Woman, please…have you ever got in the way of a drunk Orton before? S'like tryin' to stop a stampeding bull. Stupid idea and standin' in front is only gonna get ya hurt."

Lita rolled her eyes. "Well then, don't let me get in your way." She pulled open the door with a sarcastic flourish, waiting for him to go through, but he didn't budge. A minute passed, and yet he remained in his spot. "Dude…this would be the part where you left me alone."

"Not before you answer my question."

"You didn't ask one."

"Aight, then let me. Why're you determined to be so damned miserable?"

Lita raised an eyebrow, slightly taken aback but trying not to show it. "None of your business."

"I ain't leavin' til ya give me an answer."

"You better make yourself comfy then 'cuz like I said…it's none of your damned business."

John raised an eyebrow of his own. "If that's the way ya wan' it." He leaned back on the counter, placing the ice cube tray on the surface before relaxing his body; making a show of cracking his neck, shoulders and various other joints, he finished by crossing his arms in an almost defiant manner. Lita followed his actions with an incredulous look, and as he stood still with no indication of leaving the room, she gave the door a push shut, her other hand landing on her hip.

"Why do you care so much anyway?"

"I don', can' a guy jus' do a good deed without anyone questionin' his motives?"

"Cut the crap."

"Truthfully? 'Cuz no one gets why you're in this negative place and I think ya need someone to understand why…you need to explain it to someone, anyone, so at least one person knows that you ain't doin' this just for kicks. Otherwise you think you're gonna go insane." John spoke softly, this gaze never wavering from hers. "Family's a big no; friends are out 'cuz they're not gonna want to bring up somethin' so depressin' witchu when they're tryin' their damned hardest to make ya feel better, and you're not exactly gonna drop it on them outta nowhere…so tell me. Why can't you be happy?"

Lita was quiet for a second, hazel orbs locked with blue, searching hard for a hint of insincerity but nothing. The normal twinkle in his eyes had been replaced with a clear honesty, as he silently urged her to take the next step. A fierce battle was raging through her head - she had half the mind to tell John where to go, and yet the other half was pushing her towards just admitting the truth. In all honesty though…that scared her. She swallowed, her throat suddenly feeling hoarse.

Noticing her discomfort, John pulled the ice cube tray towards him, cracking it in his hands to make the cubes easily accessible. He extended the tray outwards to Lita, a tiny smirk just noticeable.

"Ice cube?"

"Eh…no thanks. I don't think frozen blocks of water are a great delicacy myself."

He stuck out his tongue, before removing a cube and popping it in his mouth. At the look on Lita's face, he shrugged. "Childhood habit."

Lita watched John happily suck on the aforementioned ice, and as he caught her looking, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, holding the tray out again, almost with a "go on, you know you want to" look. Fearing for a loss of her sanity, Lita gave a reluctant smile as she reached forward and took her own cube.

Triumph flitted over John's face. "Yeeeah, victory is mine!"

Rolling her eyes, Lita gingerly placed her "delicacy" in her mouth, wincing at the cold touch before replying. "Uh-huh, we'll see about that." She tried to get used to the odd sensation before hesitantly continuing. "To go back to a time before ice cubes…I can think of a pretty big reason for not telling you."

That was all it took to change the mood as it shifted to a more serious tone instantly. John chewed thoughtfully on his ice cube as he looked at her intently - Lita finding herself wishing that he wouldn't because it made her nervous.

"Sure…I could prolly guess what that one was myself."

The sensations in her stomach started fluttering like crazy, and Lita felt a momentary panic. He couldn't know how she felt about him; not even when she wasn't completely sure herself. The only person she had confided in was…the realisation hit her like a chair shot to the head. Inwardly, Lita groaned. She'd have to have a word with Trish about what she told Randy, 'cos apparently, guys shared more with each other than they'd initially thought. The knowledge of what she'd just find out was like an unpleasant jolt back to earth; she had to get away from him now…of all the folk she would've picked to talk to, he hadn't been on the list. Not only that, but she was used to distancing herself from most people and if she was completely honest with herself, she didn't want John to become one of them…sharing her inner demons with him would be a sure way of pushing him away.

Lita stared ahead without really focusing, lost in her thoughts, only noticing a couple minutes later that John was throwing bits of ice in her general direction to get her attention. Without making eye contact, she opened the door again and motioned for him to leave. His hand fell to his side and he threw her a look of surprise.

"What ya doin'?"

"Please…get out. I can't do this right now."

"Do what Lita? Actually open up to someone?" There was a slight note of annoyance in John's voice as he spoke. "For once, put down your barriers and realise that ya don' have to go through shit alone? I ain't goin' nowhere til you give me a straight up answer. Why're you determined to stay miserable?"

Eyes flashing, Lita slammed the door shut and turned to face him, the anger written clearly across her face and evident in her body language.

"Fine, jeez. Did any of you ever think that the reason I'm, in your words, staying miserable is because that is just the way I feel? Maybe y'all need to accept the fact that I am in this state because I want to be." She was steadily growing louder but she was past caring…at that moment, she was in full flow of getting out the frustrations that had been bothering her for so long. "_Maybe_…I'm sick of people trying to speed up the healing process and convince me I'm ok even though I know I'm far from being completely alright. And _maybe_…I'm just tired of pretending to be happy when sometimes it feels like I won't be properly happy ever again." Her voice dropped to a whisper, barely heard over the thumping music coming from the rest of the house. "How can I be? The only person who fully accepted me for who I was, who actually believed in me, got bored, packed ship and moved on. So _excuse me_ for feeling a bit miserable."

Lita sighed, all of her energy seeming to disappear. Well, that was it - another person she'd isolated herself from, to add to her list. With a bitter smile, she shook her head and made to move towards the sweetie cupboard, in desperate need for some comfort food…forgetting to avoid the puddles of water formed at her feet, courtesy of the melted ice. She slipped, heading butt-first towards the floor and injury when a pair of strong arms caught her around the middle. Lita felt herself being pulled upwards into a standing position but the grip around her waist didn't loosen. She didn't get the chance to utter her thanks, or even to tell him to get the hell off of her, when he spoke.

"I believe in you."

John turned her around so she was facing him, one arm holding her close, and cupped her chin gently with his fingers; Lita became caught in his gaze, mesmerised by those deep blue orbs as if she was under their spell. Finding it increasingly difficult to look away…especially as his face drew nearer. His lips caught hers with a feather-soft touch, holding them for only a few seconds before he moved back.

"Maybe…ya don' have to pretend to be happy anymore." Fingers ran lightly up and down Lita's back, causing an involuntary shudder through her spine that had nothing to do with the temperature in the room. "Maybe now…you let me help ya move on." He kissed her forehead, then the tip of her nose, moving down to her lips again before stopping after a kiss just at the hollow of her throat. "And maybe you realise that, despite your imperfections" - he smirked - "your friends love ya, and wouldn' change ya for anythin'."

John waited for a response, the smirk fading as she continued to stand in silence. A look of disappointment marred his handsome features, as he cleared his throat uncomfortably, and quickly released his hold.

"I guess I got the wrong impression then, I'm sorry. Let's jus' forget tha-"

But the sentence remained unfinished as Lita stepped forward and pulled John down for another kiss, this one quickly giving into their mutual lust as their mouths opened and tongues fought in a mini-duel of passion. John's arms wrapped her body again, her own hands around the back of his neck, and Lita felt as if she could stay in that position forever. However, the sound of a cough caused the two to pull apart, both slightly breathless, and they looked around to see Randy's head poking through the hatch between the kitchen and dining room. He grinned slyly at them, eyebrows moving up and down mischievously.

"I wondered why it was taking so long to get the ice but now I can see you found someone else to play with…"

John pulled Lita smoothly to him, her back coming to rest against his chest, and he resting his chin upon her shoulder before replying. "Yeah, I found someone pretty special."

Randy pouted. "So this means we're over? Just like that? I thought our relationship meant something to you John…or was that all lies? Were you just having a bit of fun with me before you found someone better? Say it ain't so!"

Laughing, he ducked out of the space as an apple zoomed sharply towards him, flying through the spot where his head should have been and soaring straight into the room beyond. There was a dull thump, followed by the sound of the occupants within bursting into hysterical laughter.

"Hey, who's throwing apples at Carlito! Das not cool!"

Lita laughed out loud, facing a chuckling John so the pair could pick up from where they had left off but their lips had barely touched when Randy's voice sounded from the hatch again.

"By the way Lita, that crazy ass trip you made through the hallway was excellent - I'm actually kinda glad Trish made me bring along my digital video cam. That's gonna make a great movie for parties and long trips. Y'know, I especially liked how you hauled yourself over the river of ice cream by using the banister of the stairs, that was totally inspired."

Lita's eyes flew open in horror and she made to move towards the door but John refused to let her go.

"I'll kick his pansy ass for ya later, no worries. Now woman, can we please get back to what we were doin' before?"

Lita grudgingly complied, all thoughts of Randy soon banished from mind. For the first time in weeks she felt safe, content, and most importantly, happy. She hadn't been prepared to let down her defences and seek help from anybody, let alone someone like John Cena but…she was glad that she had. It looked like she was going to be ok after all - she could stop dwelling on the past, and finally, start looking ahead. From outside, she could hear the excited shouts of her friends as they began the countdown to the new year…a mass of party poppers let off and a collective cheer of "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" as the clock struck midnight. John broke away briefly, looking down on her and smiling before leaning in to whisper in her ear.

"Happy new year Lita…here's to the future."

It looked set to be a _very_ happy new year.

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Please R&R.


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